Perhaps you’ve used a vibrator before, or perhaps this is your first time. Nevertheless, if you’re not used to it, using a new vibrator and having fun can be a challenge.
Fortunately, it’s not impossible to have fun with a sex toy. I like to compare learning to use sex toys to learning to ride a bike: both may seem a little odd at first, and both may involve some (or many of) failures.
However, once you’ve figured it out, it will come effortlessly to you, and you’ll be swimming in the water like a fish!
My first time using a vibrator
Let me share some of my early vibrator experiences with you so you know you’re not alone if you’re not sure where to start, feel intimidated, or believe you should already be aware of this information.
I didn’t orgasm the first time I used a vibrator before I started building my own intelligent vibrators and could fill a whole wardrobe with sex toys (part of it is for work, after all). If we’re being completely honest, I had no idea what I was doing with the sex toy.
I purchased a plain-looking $16 vibrator from Spencers, one of those hip novelty shops that were then found in malls all throughout the country. How to use it was not specified or given any instructions. I assumed I had to use it vaginally and that doing so would be comfortable, but it wasn’t. It reminded me of inserting a piece of cheap plastic into my vagina. It wasn’t comfortable. I didn’t feel like much of anything, and there was only a slight buzzing vibration.
If I were in that circumstance once more, I would act very differently. Here are five suggestions, plus some additional information at the end! That advice I would give my younger, pre-vibrator self should be useful to you today.
- Choose at least one vibrator, if not more, to test out
Sincerely, don’t be frightened to experiment with various vibrators. Everybody’s bodies and preferences are diverse, and not all vibrators are created equal. Especially today that there are so many more businesses out there producing body safe sex toys, there are many affordable options that are decent quality (not the cheap plastic one I purchased).
If you would like more detailed advice on how to purchase a vibrator for the first time, you can read my tutorial here. For the purposes of this tutorial, I’ll state right away that choosing your first toy should be based on how you currently feel sexual pleasure and masturbation (if you do). Choose a toy that plays up your strengths.
This is not to imply that you shouldn’t use various instruments to test out novel sensations like g-spot orgasms, anal orgasms, blended orgasms, remote control vibrators, and other intelligent vibrators, or any other novel feeling that catches your attention. Try something that’s based on what you’re already used to, at least for a first toy, if you want a better chance of enjoying your time with it.
- Be prepared and enjoy the road rather than merely the conclusion.
Set expectations for what you want to do before you get into bed or turn on the water in the shower. Although the orgasm is often considered the culmination and objective of a sexual session, basing your enjoyment on the orgasm would probably leave you feeling unfulfilled.
The presence or absence of an orgasm is only one aspect of sex, masturbation, and the use of sex toys. When you spend time getting to know yourself, you can discover new things about yourself, feel good, and feel good about making time for yourself to unwind and practice self-care.
The presence or absence of an orgasm does not necessarily indicate the quality of the encounter.
Additionally, having an orgasm doesn’t make the experience better or worse. There may be occasions when you do experience an orgasm, but you don’t particularly enjoy it. Similar to the previous situation, there may be occasions when you don’t have an orgasm but the experience was still wonderful and you feel much better than you did before.
Ironically, you might discover that by savoring the present and all of its facets, you’re more likely to feel greater pleasure—and yes, perhaps even orgasm.
- Ensure your comfort.
Find a moment and location where you can psychologically and physically adjust to your new toy. It will be challenging to have a great experience you’ll want to repeat if you’re anxious, thinking about work you need to get done, too concentrated on just having an orgasm (instead of enjoying the complete experience), or if kids or other creatures are at your door every five minutes. It will also be challenging to appreciate using a vibrator if you’re distracted with anything wholly unrelated to the novel sensations you’re experiencing and/or a fantasy you enjoy thinking about (or enjoy anything, really).
For a session, even 10-15 minutes may be plenty to at the very least test your new vibrator and familiarize yourself with its operation. Behind a locked door, the location can be your bedroom or shower. If your trusted partner is open to you exploring and attempting something new (and isn’t just waiting/expecting an orgasm), you can be alone or, if you feel more at ease, together.
A brief meditation session (1 minute or more) prior to masturbation can help you get in the mood if you need assistance with concentration or maintaining calm. Additionally, using erotica or pornography, contemplating a fantasy you’ve loved, or setting the mood (if you need ideas, we have a curated selection of ethical sources here).
- Keep in mind that it’s okay if you have trouble the first few times.
It’s absolutely acceptable if something you try for the first time turns out to be awkward and isn’t all that great. It’s actually fairly typical. I mean, consider this: Picasso didn’t produce his well-known works of art the moment he picked up a paintbrush. It required effort, testing, and practice. Any talent is the same way, and yes, this includes various sexual practices like masturbation.
When you initially pick up that cool new sex gadget, you won’t (yet) be the Picasso or Beethoven of masturbation. Before you discover what makes you tick, it could take some time and trying various things over time. Additionally, as you mature, your body changes, your preferences change, and you try new things, you might pick up new knowledge along the road.
- Experiment with various methods with your sex object.
Don’t be scared to experiment with your toys, especially when you’re utilizing a new kind of one! Play around with different vibrational intensities, apply more or less pressure where it feels comfortable, try rubbing or grinding it, and try other postures (laying on your back, laying on your belly, standing, etc). You can experiment with methods like edging, which deliberately postpones your climax, to see if that is more enjoyable for you. If you purchase multiple sex toys, you can experiment with various shapes and surface areas; fusing various forms of stimulation can result in various experiences.
You might develop a few go-tos over time that you might particularly love. You can change up your approaches over time if you’re seeking something new or different; for example, you could rub in a different way or try something different from how you usually position yourself. It’s possible that something you first didn’t like about a new sex toy ends up being your new favorite!
regular inquiries about vibrators
Without answering a few frequently asked questions regarding vibrators that I frequently get from individuals considering using one for the first time, I can’t end this without addressing them.
Will my vibrator make me desensitized?
Simply put, no (if you want a more in-depth answer, we cover the topic more extensively here). According to studies, using vibrators doesn’t cause long-term desensitization. Anecdotally, it has been mentioned that you could undergo momentary desensitization, for instance, if you use a known to be extremely powerful object (like the Magic Wand) and then transition right away to manual stimulation of the clitoris/vulva. However, in both situations, the desensitization was just temporary and did not last.
How should my vibrator be cleaned?
Washing your hands with soap and water is simple, especially if the sex toys are waterproof. While there are cleaning supplies for sex toys on the market, you probably already have all you need at home to keep them clean. If you want to learn more about various approaches of sanitizing and cleaning sex toys, click here.
How should my sex object be stored?
If your sex toy comes with a pouch, we suggest storing the toy and the charger in the pouch to prevent it from collecting dust.
Typically, keeping your vibe in a drawer should be plenty (especially if you have one or a couple). We developed a guide here that is devoted to various sorts of sex toy storage alternatives in case you discover that you need better storage solutions (locks to keep nosy hands and eyes away, additional storage space).
How do I recharge my vibrators?
You understand what a bummer it may be when a vibrator dies in the middle of a session if you’ve ever experienced that. Here’s how to make sure your vibrators are charged and ready to go and prevent getting let down.
Choose if you want a vibrator that requires external batteries, plugs into the wall, or has a rechargeable battery if you haven’t yet purchased your sex toy (usually rechargeable via USB). Each of these has advantages and disadvantages:
External Batteries Advantages: You can quickly replace your batteries if you run out of power.
Note: I’ve discovered that devices that use AA batteries can deliver surprisingly adequate power (as long as the vibration motor is set up to be rumbly as well). Anything weaker (such as AAA or coin cell batteries) tends to generate buzzier/weaker vibrations that may be harder to feel compared to other types of vibrators, and anything larger batteries that provide more power may get heavy to carry.
Cons: Battery purchases or recharges are required. Use caution when using these vibrators in the shower or bathtub unless the product is specifically marked as being waterproof. These vibrators are also frequently not waterproof. If power output is a concern for you, I’ve personally discovered that vibrators powered by AAA batteries or smaller tend to emit less power.
Rechargeable Advantages: You won’t need to constantly buy batteries or replenish external batteries. For the size and weight of the majority of batteries, it also offers a respectable level of power. Simply connect it into a USB port or power outlet to recharge it when necessary, or use a portable charger and tuck it away in a drawer to charge it covertly.
Cons: You have to recharge it if it stops working. Additionally, you risk shortening the overall battery life of your vibrator if you keep it uncharged and at 0 battery for an extended period of time.
Wall Plug-in Advantages: Because the electricity comes from the wall outlet, there are stronger vibrations. can continue to operate as long as your electricity is on.
Cons: Because you must have your vibrator plugged in, there are just a few places you may use it. Rarely transportable. Plugged in = more powerful vibrations = usually louder. Avoid using electrical corded goods near the tub or shower because they aren’t waterproof, just like blowdryers for your hair!
Have fun on the trip!
These pointers ought to make your encounter enjoyable and pleasurable. If you need more suggestions on how to spice up your experience and heighten your pleasure, check out our more sex guides, blogs, and video series on the various ways that different factors can affect arousal and orgasm.
Do you notice any changes in your body? See how The Lioness Vibrator is affecting your enjoyment!